It’s an all-too-common occurrence. You find yourself forced by desperation and necessity of that one item that you can’t do without for one more hour on your way to that one place that is always busy on the weekends. Desperately you circle the parking lot hoping to find a space that isn’t half a mile from the door when you spot a car that is about to leave in the adjacent lane. You circle around as swiftly as one can in a parking lot while also not killing pedestrians only to find you’ve been bested by a Subaru with its blinker on. You have been defeated. You feel doomed to circle around that parking lot for all eternity.
End of scenario.
For whatever reason we give those turn signals lots of authority in these situations. It’s just a blinking light. So what if that person turned theirs on before you did? You want that parking spot as much as they do. I should just start ignoring blinkers. I hate blinking lights. I got rid of my android phone and upgraded to an iPhone just so I wouldn’t have to see that dumb blinking light anymore. I would probably become shrouded in infamy as “that one car that will always steal the parking spot that you reserved with your blinker”. I could get a personalized plate that reads “UP YOURS” just to drive my point across.
Then again that’s not what Jesus would do, so upon further reflection I have decided to not do that.
But maybe one day I’ll muster up enough gumption to be the Blinker Bandit. That’s what I’ll call myself. It involves masks and a cape and probably too much awesome for you to handle right now.
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