"Don't pursue a relationship with a guy, let them come to you."
This sounds all fine and holy in theory, but as I am getting older it's beginning to feel like a load of crap. I don't subscribe to the theory of "the one" person for everyone, despite what Christian Mingle tries to tell me. Sitting around waiting for a great relationship to come to me is a great way to turn me into a spinster. I have to play a part in the process as well to find "God's match for me".
The main problem I have with being part of the process is that I'm 24 and the last official date I've had was to junior prom (here's looking at you Zach Williams). Real talk. In waiting to be pursued I've lost all opportunity to practice how to act with romantic interest. Sure, I've had a few fellas look my way over the years but nothing ever came of it. You know why? I'm a terrible flirt. I know nothing about dating. Everything I know about boys was learned before the age of five. I revert back into a small child almost immediately upon attractive-male contact and the conversation ends with me mentioning boogers or insulting him beyond reproach.
So I had to consult the big guy upstairs about how to act. Jesus has become my wingman. He tells me when I'm being too clingy or mean. He says "Hey that's a handsome dude over there" He gives me hints on how to have a decent conversation with a fella. Our conversations typically go like this:
"What do I say to him, Jesus?"
"Just be cool. Be aloof- but still available."
"Ohh snap, Jesus, he responded to my text. What do I say?"
"Ask him what kind of donkey he drives lololol"
"Dag nabit, Jesus, get it together."
