Do you ever wake up from a dream because you were sure your life was in danger? You gilt yourself awake because that giant spider/man-eating clown/teddy bear was sure to end your life if you didn't get out of there? I experienced one of those dreams this morning. Around 7:45 I found myself startled and relieved that I was still alive and was not about to be discovered by the creature that was looking to kill me.
Of course survival is a natural human instinct. While we sleep all of our senses except for our hearing turn off completely and what we hear even in our deepest sleep can alert us to danger. Except for ninjas. They use some weird tactics to remain completely silent. But if you are afraid a ninja is going to kill you in your sleep I think you should probably rethink you life decisions.
Survival is hard wired into our brains. Our reactions in a life threatening situation don't come from logical thinking-- they come from our need to survive. Historically people have gone to extreme measures to ensure their own survival. From cutting off your own arm to surviving adrift in the ocean for three months, for years people have been doing whatever they can to continue living.
I've had a few dreams in my day that involved me being chased by something or someone and having to run, having to get out of there immediately with no time to think. I remember stopping in a gas station market to pick up supplies and praying my pursuer didn't catch me before I had time to pay. But it's not often that I get to see what is chasing me. My dream last night ended with me hiding under three wardrobe racks full of clothes and watching the feet of something dressed in a rubber chicken suit slowly turn in my direction, getting closer and closer, until I knew if I didn't take action in that moment that it would catch me and I would be killed. Did I mention this rubber chicken creature was also covered in goop? And that where it lived, the place where I was trespassing, was also covered in goop? I do not know what was inside of the rubber chicken suit. I do not know if there is, in fact, such a thing as a rubber chicken suit. I also don't know why someone with three racks of clothes would choose to dress in a goopy rubber chicken suit. Only my brain knows.
In a panic, I knew I had to react. I had a bag of coins in my hand. The tree people I had collected the coins with had done this before. They had escaped past the goopy chicken man without incident but I was not as experienced and it had found me. Terrified of what this thing would do to me, I reasoned that my best way of escaping was to burst forth from the wardrobe racks while simultaneously thrusting the racks upon the chicken man and running past him to the door.
My heart rate quickened. I had to do it now. The feet were getting closer and I couldn't waste anymore time. I burst forth! The residual excitement had, in real life, quickened my heart rate and I woke up. That's the unfortunate part about dreaming. Our body requires deep breaths and a slower heart rate to stay asleep. The first rule in lucid dreaming is not to get too excited because your heart rate will rise and you'll wake up.
I'll never really know if I had escaped the goopy chicken man. I like to think that he got tangled in a pile of cardigan sweaters and was incapacitated for many minutes not only allowing time for me to escape but also giving time for the others in my party to also exit safely from his goopy lair. Did he make chicken noises as he fought his way out from under a pants suit? I like to think so. It wouldn't be a good story if it didn't. Maybe I'll meet him in a dream again and I can have a Scooby Doo-like monster reveal to see who was behind the mask the entire time. I bet it's old man Jenkins. He's always up to something kooky.
If you're a beginner ninja and want some advise, look no further...
SIDE NOTE: Today I'm embarking on an adventure with 2,500 others wanting to start being awesome and living their dream. It's headed by the incredible Jon Acuff and I'm so excited to take this journey. I've known for years that I was going to write books. But over the next 24 days I will be hustling toward my dream with the support of thousands of other dreamers. Look for more blog posts and updates about my novel! (My short story is a novel now, deal with it.)
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